A local buffet is making news this week after complaints of cultural appropriation offended local college students. Their complaint? The food diversity creates a revisionist taste of cultural foods and mocks their cultural significance.

Students from the local liberal arts college descended on the restaurant that is frequented by large families, truckers, and local foodies who love the wide variety and volume of food available at the buffet. The protestors stormed the buffet and filled up their trays with foods from around the world to create awareness of the tragic slaughtering of cultural foods.

One student named Hannah, a first-year student from Greenwich Connecticut was excited to try what the restaurant called “tacos”. Being homesick, she longed for the tacos her housekeeper used to make for her that embodied the essence of her cultural home. Lured by the promise of Mexican food, Hannah was shocked by what she found at the buffet.

“Ewww, so gross! They had processed meat and some kind of crunchy GMO poison yellow shells along with toppings filled with non-organic vegetables and other weird stuff that I swear had gluten in it.” She continued, “Also they had lots of non-vegan meat products next to the Asian food.”

Hannah posted her disgust of the way the buffet inappropriately blended and destroyed the time honored recipes from various cultures.

She posted on her Instagram page, “I mean, there was like not a single item there I could eat. Even the desserts had dairy in them! What kind of monsters would serve that?”

Her post set off a firestorm on campus as her story of gastrointestinal assault spread like a virus. Students, looking to get out of finals, rallied to her cause and demanded the restaurant change their menu.

The corporate offices of the local buffet responded to our request for comment with this statement:

While we appreciate the youthful expression of free speech, we have no intentions of changing our profitable menu.”

The protestors gave up their attack on the restaurant after a couple of hours and demanded that their professors give them a passing grade on their final exams because of the emotional trauma they endured creating a safe space for their friend.


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